Flyy Fridays: Confidence

4 12 2009

Kimora Lee Simmons believes that self-confidence is the starting point to everything good in your life, and I agree. And like she says, “Confidence is one of of the few things in life that’s free, and it accumulates quickly. You can start with really simple things, like pulling yourself together and taking pride in whatever you have…”

Here are her guaranteed top five confidence tips (From Fabulosity: What It Is & How to Get It):

Never say never. Banish certain words from the brain: “can’t,” “won’t,” and “don’t.” Any time you think you can’t you, can’t. All of us need to retain our brains because negative thoughts do become true if we believe them: I’m a loser; I’ll never amount to much. Believe and know that you are everything you’ll ever want. Whatever you believe and know about yourself is what it’s going to be.

Fake it ’til you make it. I don’t mean to fake being somebody you’re not or being phony. I mean tell yourself that you’re great even when some part of you is doubting it. It’s a trick-start, just like when your car dies and you push it down the hill to start because it catches momentum. You don’t even have to believe everything’s going to turn out or that you can achieve it all right now- fake that you do, and it will get you moving forward.

Trust there’s a reason that you are there, not someone else. This is a trick I used any time I got nervous as a model, up there on the catwalk in from of hundreds of people. I figured, “I am up here; you are down there in your seat. If you think you can do it better, you get up here and do it, and I’ll go take your chair. But for now, I’m the one here, so even if I fall flat on my face, it’s still more than what you’re doing in your chair!” Once I acquired that attitude, my steps got stronger, and my head got higher. I’ve continued to use that throughout my life, whether I have to give a speech or attend a big red-carpet event. I tell myself, “I’m here because I deserve to be here, not because of some mistake.

Believe other people’s confidence in you, even when you don’t believe it yourself. I learned this early on thanks to an earlier model- let’s call her Jennifer. She was another part-Asian runway model who was in her thirties when I was thirteen, and she hated me for being on her turf. So when we got paired up to walk the runway- back in the day, fashion shows were a little more choreographed- she would “forget” to do the turn at the top of the catwalk and just keep on walking, leaving me in the dust out there alone. I was mortified, but I chose to believe the people who consoled me: “No, she’s the fool; it’s obvious she did it on purpose. It only made her look bad, not you.” I chose to go with their words instead of my own thoughts. Reveling in self-pity and going, “Oh my god, I looked so bad; everyone hates me!” would have me want to run and hide.

Choose your company wisely. Confidence is contagious: We can each pick it up by hanging out with people who have a lot of it. To girls and women of any age, I say put yourself in proximity to successful women who’ve got it together, it will rub off on you. Whether it’s an internship, mentorship or befriending the latest fly girl. At the end of the day, we’re all in it together, and we should stick together! Society makes it toughh enough by degrading women, putting us down, sometimes treating us like we’re nothing…women should be applauded and uplifted, and I don’t think it happens enough. So have the confidence to tell another sister,”You are a total goddess, and I want to be like you!” The rule is more the merrier. It’s not a one-woman show.


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2 responses

4 12 2009

I love this chica! I know a lot of people are put off by her “over the top” attitude but I see it as her being confident and free enough to unapologetically be herself.

4 12 2009
Jamie Fleming

I agree with you; I love her, too! She can be a little ‘much’, but I love it because she’s being herself.

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